Illegal jokes

If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

What makes suicide illegal?

Getting caught.

what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?

alien vs predator

How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?

If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.

What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.

I like my women like my cigars: smuggled in from Cuba in a sack.

The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.

Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?

To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.

What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.

What does a kid and wine have in common?

Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.

What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?

E.T. eventually went home!

How can a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?

She can clean her crack and sell it again.

Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

(People will then say "r")

Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.

So Kenny finally found his one true love.

But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.