Illegal jokes
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get the hell out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator