If jokes
Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.
Anyways,
Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!
But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.
What would good be if it was a place?
It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
Anyone who makes orphan jokes... STOP! It's rude and not even funny. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THIS SITE IF YOU'RE GONNA BE RUDE!
In Mario, it is called a Zoomba, but if it was real, it would be a boomba.
Jacob Wheet, if you don't understand, look it up.
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
If you ever thought you were gay, remember that cockroaches exist.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, why is 10 scared?
(10 is in between 9/11)
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DABDAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB.
If you like penis.
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.