If jokes

God

    • When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

    And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

    It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

    When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

    And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

    It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

    Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

    And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

    Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

    And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

    And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

    And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

    And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

    It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

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    • Career

    • If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

    Tony Abbott's career.

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    • Politician

    • If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

    The Royal Commission.

    Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

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    • Asian

    • If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.

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    • Kidney

    • Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

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    • Size

    • If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

    Roblox

    • My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.

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    • Day

    • Opposite day be like in doors.

    Figure: Finally, I can see.

    Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.

    Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.

    Eyes: 😭

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    • Boob

    • What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

    "If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."