If jokes

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.

They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.

If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀

Are you still a virgin?

If you do IT

With no one?

Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.

What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... That is... if you throw it hard enough.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.

I asked my girlfriend if we could try my rape fantasy last night. She said no. It was the best night of my life.

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.

What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?

Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.

I asked a emo kid if they wanna hang out.