If jokes
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
If you ever thought you were gay, remember that cockroaches exist.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.