If jokes

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂

If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.

Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?

If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?

Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.

A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.

A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to jump!"

The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"

The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."

If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to your ego, and then jump down to your IQ.

Like if you listen to Kidd G.

Comment if you listen to Polo G.

Share if you listen to NBA Youngboy.

Do all if you listen to all of them and you all of them if Kobe Bryant is a legend.

I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.

A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

Why do orphans like to go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?

I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.