If jokes

If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.

If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?

None of them. Immigration service is.

How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?

You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

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    • A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."

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    • Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.

    One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.

    The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."

    "What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.

    "Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.

    Me: Hey, how are you?

    Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3

    Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?

    Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.

    Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!

    Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)

    Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!

    Me: Ok, and their names?

    Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!

    Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)

    Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.

    Me: Ok, see you soon! :3

    Me now hates my life. :)

    If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?

    If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.

    This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.

    Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.

    If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,

    Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?

    If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.

    The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.