You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
I’m literally scratching my itchy balls right now.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
