Humans jokes
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.
During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!
Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
Humans. We are the joke. Retards.
What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
I'm a human. Syke, I'm Pickle Rick!
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.