Human jokes

What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?

A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.

What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

Sans: Zzzzzzzz.

Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it, dude?

Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.

What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?

The priest stopped him on the way there.

I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.

I'm a human. Syke, I'm Pickle Rick!

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

What is the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

140 calories.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why do humans hate aliens?

Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!

What do you call a gay friend?

Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.

What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?

I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.

What is the difference between a human and a human rights act and a walk home and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and a wheelchair to wheelchair and wheelchair to wheelchair for wheelchair home night time to a home was fun at home night was the day I had dinner is it fun for me I was going to be a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home night time?

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.

What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.

What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?

Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.