Human jokes

Everyone is autistic midgets.

Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?😒 You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

How does a cannibal like his meat?

Human.

What do you call a gay friend?

Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.

What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?

CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.

What do you call a person?

A person.

Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.

Do you wanna know the best thing about 28 year olds?

There are 20 8 year olds.

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.

"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.

Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?

So he could querk.

What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?

A doggone catastrophe!

We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.

A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...

What day can you have sex on?

Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.