What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
What do you call a person?
A person.
Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.
Do you wanna know the best thing about 28 year olds?
There are 20 8 year olds.
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.
We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.
Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?
So he could querk.
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Sans, why did you buy that pillow? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, grhrh. Sans, you f**k! You wake the f**k up! Frisk comes to the room and ./. You tell Papyrus what happened. Hhhuh, human, heeheheheh. Sans didn't pick up his sock, so I punish him. Sans egjf.
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
