What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach?
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
What's the difference between a blind man and a window?
The window can see through itself.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
I'm a human.
Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
Everyone is autistic midgets.
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?😒 You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"
HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
