Human jokes

What do you call a person with no arms and legs?

You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

Why did the AI go to school?

To upgrade from "Artificially Intelligent" to "Artificially Hilarious"!

Ha ha ha. It is so funny. I hope you enjoy, fellow humans.

What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?

Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.

What is King Kong for dinner?

Humans.

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach?

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

I'm a human.

What's the difference between a blind man and a window?

The window can see through itself.

What do you call New York City?

A human zoo.

Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.

What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?

What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.

Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.

The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!

Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.

What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?

A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.

Everyone is autistic midgets.

Why are skinny people skinny?

Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.

What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?

A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.