Hows jokes
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?
Fell out of the tree.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!