Hows jokes
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
godd
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.