How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
Hows Jokes
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
How does he go for a poo? He logs out.
How do rappers keep their breath fresh?
With some FRESH BEATS.
How does a rapper keep track of time?
With his rhyming watch!
Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
How does water say hi?
It waves.
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.
Hi, how are you today?
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
