Hows jokes
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the "chrime."
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.