Hows jokes
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
...
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
"Can we do 69?"
"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth?"
Girl, scan the code on your wrist.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.