Hows jokes
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
How are genders different than the Twin Towers?
There are two genders.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Gay.
Gay who?
You're gay.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
Me imagining how Batman's hairline looks like.
Nobody: Me: His hairline kinda do look like a Batman symbol.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?