How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Howe Jokes
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.
Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because they hate how he cares about family.
I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?
Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!
Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
