Howe jokes
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Memes
Hollow Knight Meme
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
How are an orphan and baseball different from each other?
A baseball game has a home run.
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
I once saw a noose joke.
I wanna know how to make one :D
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
How do you call a cute door?
A-door-able.
How does the skeleton call his friends? With a tele-bone.
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.