You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Howe Jokes
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.
"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"
Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.
Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.
And your IQ is 5.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
How do stars die?
Normally, an overdose.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
