Howe jokes

How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they can't change anything.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.

How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.

Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?

Teacher: 203

Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

Teacher: You can't.

Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?

Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.

The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?

Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.

Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.

Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?

Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?

Student: No, the alligators are at the party.

Sally dies anyway, how?

Teacher: She frowned?

Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.

An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.

Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?

Hold its nose.

Worst joke ever.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

How does a priest purify water?

Boil the hell out of it!

Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?

Just tell them that it floats.

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

How do you make a lesbian upset?

Give her a multiplication test.

Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?

Me: *silence*

How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat.

this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.