Howe Jokes

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

How do you blindfold an Asian?

You use dental floss.

Q: How do you blind a woman?

A: You put a windshield in front of her.

How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?

None because they don't have a home.

Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?

A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆

How did the burglar get into my house?

Intruder window.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?

They get jalapeño business.

Mother: How is my little cookie doing?

Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.

Mother: Really?

Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.

Mother: 😁♥️🍪

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

Me: Hey, how are you?

Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3

Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?

Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.

Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!

Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)

Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!

Me: Ok, and their names?

Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!

Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)

Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.

Me: Ok, see you soon! :3

Me now hates my life. :)

How are Tinder and orphans alike?

You swipe left till you find the one you like.

How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?

The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."

How to make time fly?

Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.

How many times does 42 go into 9?

Get in the van to find out.

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

He spills coffee on his iPad.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

More than three because the basement is still dark!

How many babies does it take to paint a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them.