Howe jokes
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
Memes
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
How sexy is Ariana Grande?
How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?
Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"