Howe jokes
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Memes
Well.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
How sexy is Ariana Grande?
How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?
Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.