Howe jokes
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
Memes
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."