Howe jokes
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles!
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
Memes
Hi how are you?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
How do people eat bread?
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.