Howe jokes

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"

How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?

When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!

How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?

The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.

How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."

How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.

One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."

Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"

How do computers get drunk?

They take a screenshot.

Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?

A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.

How did a blonde commit suicide?

She jumped from the basement window.

Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.

Son (in a happy tone): I know.

Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?

Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.