Howe jokes
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
Memes
I think
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
Teacher: What does the pig give us? Student: Bacon.
Teacher: Very good. How about the chicken? Student: Meat.
Teacher: Good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: Homework.
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"