Howe jokes
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
Memes
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
How to not exist: Kys.