Howe jokes

Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?

A: All the rice is gone.

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.

Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.

Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.

She lets him play anyway and I don't.

How do you know if an Asian is a failure?

Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.

How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they sit in the dark and cry.

How do you anger a democrat?

Don't tell him the truth.

How to not exist: Kys.

Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!

How are orphans like broken pencils?

Neither of them have points.

Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?

What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?

Telephone? No.

Television? No.

How then? Tell a woman!

How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?