me imaging how batman hairline looks like nobody: me:his hairline kinda do looks like a batman symbol
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
me: how many letters are in the alphabet? that one friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T
How do Chinese people name there kids
They throw pots and pans do the stairs
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
Hi welcome, to June's Orphanage you make them we bake them how can I help you.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
How do orphans have names because they don't have anyone to give them names?
How do you make an orphan’s hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house. None, they don't have one
