So many things are going through my head
How am I not dead yet?
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
How are genders different than the twin towers¿
There are two genders.
How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?
There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
How did the orphan become famous?,”go big or go home”
How does an emo kid compliment one another?
Like your cuts, G.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
