Howe jokes
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
If you don’t know how to braid, hit that follow button, let’s gooo!
How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
How do you call a Goth with feelings?
Emomotional.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
How does a non-binary ninja slay enemies?
They/Them.
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.