Howe jokes
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.