How Many

How Many jokes

Rape

My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

Degree

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

Dog

Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.

Feminist

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!

Priest

One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.

When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.

Serves him right.

  • 4
  • Cat

    How many cats are in the human body?

    None, unless you're Asian.

    Squirrel

    How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!

    Baby

    How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.

    Fish

    If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?

    12, because fish don't drown.

    People

    You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"

    They jinxed it by saying "never sink."

    Rapist

    How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.

    Emo

    You wanna hear a joke?

    Two Emos hanging out under a tree.

    How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!

    Butt

    A man walks in to the doctor.

    He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."

    Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!

    Baby

    How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.

    Alphabet

    Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

    I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

    (Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

    (Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

    What letter is really hot? T

    C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

    ME SExUAL SRrY LoL