Horse jokes
What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
A man walked into a bar. No wait, a horse,
A man walked into a horse.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.
I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.