New Horse Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

A man walked into a bar. No wait, a horse,

A man walked into a horse.

If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?

Haaaaaaay!

Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!

A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.

I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.

Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"

Jimmy: "That's great!"

Doctor: "A horse with cancer."

What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?

"Use the horse!"

So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.

I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.

I named my horse Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."