Hope

Hope Jokes

Toothpaste

I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.

Password

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

Pressure

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.

Ad

I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!

People

No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.

Department

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

Death

Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.

Son

My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!

Tower

Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!

Orphan

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang, because it always comes back.

R. Kelly

Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!

Orphan

What is an orphan's favorite day?

Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.

Friend

So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

Girl

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.