Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
Sisters before misters.
I hope you get better.
I love you.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
Hi, I hope you’re
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.
There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
My syndrome is down but my hopes are up
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
We have life. I hope we have life. We have God in Jesus Christ. This is a good thing. It is a song part.
