Hood

Hood Jokes

Nun

"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!

Sex

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

Tornado

What do a black and a tornado have in common?

They both wreck neighborhoods.

Fortune

Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.

Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!

Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?

Song

Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.

Emo

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

Dick

Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"

Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"

School

Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.

Bandit

Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.

Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?

Answer: 16

Story

True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.

The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"

Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"

People

The only hood I like is pointy and white.

That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.

Baby

What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?

If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.

Sex

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

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