Honesty jokes
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
Memes
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
I'm not transphobic. I just want transparency...
Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!
I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.
You were amazing... Sike I lied, that pussy is dry.
Dude, I lied.
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.
I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.
Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.
Memes
Community
2026. The year that will be my best. I will be honest with how I feel to myself and to those who matter in my life. I will not starve myself. I will not cut myself. I will not overdose. I will not put myself into that fucked up reality state. I will not smoke weed. I will not drink alcohol. I will not let a man use me. I will try in this relationship. it might sound really fucking stupid, but this year will change my life. I will get better. I will try. I will succeed in school. I will write my books. This year WILL be diffrent.
Hey everyone!! I have a small announcement for those who care. Jaeden and I are giving eachother another chance. BUT hear me out on this. I know last time some things happend, but I'm going to be honest. You all got a one-sided story. I was looking for the bad because I thought all that was gonna happen was me getting hurt. That's what I do, I keep looking for only the bad. Remember, at the beginning, when he made … Read more
you did what you could with what you had. maybe it wasnt perfect, maybe it wasnt to the best of your abilities, maybe it wasnt enough for them, but it was honest, and it was yours. sometimes thats all you can do. just give your best, and let it be enough for you.