Home jokes
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
So you mom call she side when Covin come home?
Me: What do you call an orphan?
Friend: Homeless.
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.
I have always hated stairs; they’re always up to something. 👻
If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why was the orphan so famous?
Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They can't find home plate.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles.
WTF did you think he’d tile it with?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't have a home base.