Home jokes

Why are blinds called blinds?

Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!

Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

Why do orphans have no home?

Because they didn't have a family to give them one.

Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?

Should be good night and walk walk home.

The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.

The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

I left my Avatar at home today.

Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.

If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?

Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.

Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.