Home Jokes

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going out and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home, and I will get back with him tomorrow morning.

My wife and I were at the park with our little princess today.

We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout, "Stop those two! They have my daughter!"

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

Hi! I’m going back home.

Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?

A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔

Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

Why can't you go home tonight? Because you haven't got a home, it's moved.

What are orphans' favorite sports team? The home team.

Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.

Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.

How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.

What is the difference between the human rights act and a home?

Why can't an orphan hit a home run? Because they don't know where home is.

What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.

I did a walk, walk, and I had to a car and a walk home from home I did.

I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.