Home jokes

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

I have always hated stairs; they’re always up to something. 👻

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?

The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.

The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

Is your home the Twin Towers? Because I'm tryna crash!

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

"Aren't you going back home now?"

"No, I am going back home."

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Why can't an orphan hit a home run?

They have no home to run to.

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.

The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? They can't find home plate.

Why was the orphan so famous?

Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.

Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.