Home jokes

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.

The details are SKETCHY! :)

Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?

Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!

Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!

I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"

I have always hated stairs; they’re always up to something. 👻

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?

Why do orphans like Spider-Man?

'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they have no home to run to.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home base.

I suck at baseball. I can’t find home plate. Oh wait...

Why can an orphan not do school work?

Because they have to take their work home to their parents.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't make it to home plate.

Why do orphans love baseball?

Because it gives them a home to run to.

What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"

Why are blinds called blinds?

Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!

Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?

A: Home to see their mama!

"Joe Mama is very cool. Sweet Home Alabama starts."

Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.