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Me when my girlfriend comes home I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out and her text says yes. Get the whip your out

I went to a store to get milk but when I got home there was million cows waiting for milk so they killed me

The bears came home daddy bear said who's been leading my porridge said who's been in my porch baby bear said never mind about the porridge who knocked the telly

What does the beaten women do when she comes home from the hospital? dishes if she knows whats good for her health