Home jokes

I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.

Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.

Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.

Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."

Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.

Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!

The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?

'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?

Person: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes?

Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?

Orphan: MOTHER!

Person: Let's go home!

Orphan: Uhhhh

*She was never to be seen again*

Why is it better to date an orphan?

Their parents are never home.

What is wrong with orphans' phones?

They'll never have a home screen.

Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?

Because they don't know what a home is.

A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."

He went home, his parents weren't there.

Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?

What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?

Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?

Because so he does not have a home button.

What type of phone do orphans have?

Android because they don't have a home button.

Yo mama's so fat, her pad is a king-size mattress.

What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?

The home screen.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.