Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
Home Jokes
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.
Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
What is wrong with orphans' phones?
They'll never have a home screen.
Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
What type of phone do orphans have?
Android because they don't have a home button.
Yo mama's so fat, her pad is a king-size mattress.
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
What's an orphan's favorite battle zone? The home front.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
