Home jokes

I made Google Earth for orphan kids.

Sadly, it does not show where home is.

Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?

Because he did not have one.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.

So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.

He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.

The details are SKETCHY! :)

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.

Girl: "Come over."

Orphan: "I can't."

Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she died by a flying brick!

"This vacuum sucks!"

Vacuum: "Yes, I do."

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?

Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.

The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!

Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.

Lol, Surprise!

Joke being on them.

As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.

Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!

HELL!

P.S. With a little extra punishments!

What is the difference between a human and a house? A human can walk, and a house cannot walk.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home base.

Bob, why are you kicking the kids?

What, it's not like they have a home to go to.

How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?

She comes home with sparkles on her face.

Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.

What makes a child an orphan?

Their parents left them for good. :D

Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.