Home jokes

When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.

Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.

Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.

My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!

Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?

Because homing missiles don’t work on them.

I fell in love with my teacher.

Which is weird because I am home schooled.

Why are orphans always at school?

'Cause they can't be homeschooled.

In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is!

I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.

Why can’t an orphan hit a home run? Because he doesn’t have a home.

Why can't orphans get a home run?

Because they have no home to run to.

Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?

Because they can't be home schooled.

Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?

To draw the curtains.

What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?

How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.

Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?

'Cause he made his home run.