Home jokes
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
What is wrong with the orphan website? It doesn't have a homepage.
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
What was the orphan's first video game console?
PS5 because it has no home button.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.