Hitler

Hitler jokes

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

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  • So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.

    To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.

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  • Why did Hitler lose the war?

    Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!

    What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

    Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

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  • what's the difference between hitler and you?

    one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.

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  • Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.

    "Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.

    "Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"

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  • Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.

    If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.

    You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.

    Answer: Nazi.

    Nobody

    Literally nobody

    Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

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