Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
Hitler Jokes
God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
What was Hitler's lucky number?
Nein.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi.
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
Nosy.
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
So, y'all remember Hitler, right?
Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.
To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.
