History jokes
Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
9/11 jokes are a bomb!
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
Q: Why is America bad at chess?
A: Because they already lost two towers.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt finished the races.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?
"Call 911!"
I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.