Him jokes

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."

Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...

Well nvm, they shot him dead.

What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?

The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

How do you anger a Libertarian?

Don't tell him the truth.

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"

I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.