Him Jokes

Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?

It gives him gas.

My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.

Who left him hanging?

Why'd my grandpa fall over?

'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

So true

A two-panel image from the movie Bee Movie shows a woman saying "I'm helping him sue the human race". The second panel shows the reaction of the man she is talking to. Below is a comment that says: "He was honestly the only normal character in the whole movie."

Why are orphans always on the toilet?

Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"

"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."

"It won't matter, he's deaf."

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.