Him jokes

What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.

3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."

Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...

Man, I love working at an orphanage.

Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?

You have to look down to see him.

A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.

He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.

my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.

So I stabbed him. Now we wait.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.

My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"

I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.

Son: Daddy?

Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy? You're 11 years old, feminine gay hoe.

Son: Whoa!? Daddy, what's that?

Dad: Wtf are you talking about?

Son: Your dick has gotten more tastier?

Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc

Dad: Oh nope, I'm not having a gay hoe's fiend in my house, no quit looking at my dick, you need some pussy.

Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz

Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em

Mom: What the fugde is going on?

Dad: Our son's a gay bitch.

Mom: Language! So? I need to teach him how to like a girl huh?

Dad: Yes Ma'am, plz.

Mom: Okay. Herman, get your gay ass in my bed but naked, I'll be there in 10.

Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!??

Mom: Quit cursing, I'm gonna fuck u extra hard!!

Son: Ewww, I'm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww.

Mom: Shut it!!!, or I'm gonna recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies (pussy naked)* and show this to ur gay fuck friends!

Son: Huh

Son: Mom FUCK U*

Mom: Okay baby I'm gonna fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off

Son: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH

Son: Moms are the worst, are they?

Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh

Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰

My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.

Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.