Hide

Hide jokes

Name

    • Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.

    A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."

  • 0
    • Hide memes

    Adoption

    • Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!

    They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3

    Death

    • A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.

    The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."

  • 45

    • Injury

    • If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

  • 0

    • Memory

    • One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

    Parrot

    • A man decides one day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet or paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud.

    "Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot," says the bird.

    "Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!"

    "I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird.

    "Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs."

    "Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers."

    "Wow, you really understand everything I say, don't you?"

    "Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport, and philosophy, and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you."

    The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I cannot afford that."

    "Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you."

    The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman."

    "What!?" says the man.

    "Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth."

    "And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?"

    "Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere."

    "My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?"

    "Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down."

    "And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams.

    "No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick..."

  • 5