Hide jokes
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
They don’t have a closet to hide in.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Hide and seek.
Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.
Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!
They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.